REPORT: Couples That Fart Together, Stay Together

What do you think… does this study pass the ‘sniff’ test?

EHarmony sent out a questionnaire to their members and got some interesting results back.

Including how long it takes before couples are willing to fart in front of each other.

And yes, there are different numbers for Millenials and older couples.

They surveyed 1000 couples in Australia to get some numbers… and if they are anything like America, here are the findings.

They were wondering about ‘relationship firsts’.

First kiss, ‘Facebook Offical’, ‘first fart’… all the way up to engagement, first introduction to relatives, first property purchase, and even first pet.

The subjects of the study said they waited on average six months before farting in front of their partner, which is a month longer than people wait to leave a toothbrush at their lover’s house.

People under 24 were found to be far less self-conscious when it comes to ‘bodily functions’ with one in two admitting they’re happy to fart within the first three months of a new relationship.

What else?

Men are quicker to say ‘I love you’ than woman are, with one in two admitting they’ll say it within the first three months and one in three women doing the same.

The funny thing is, we all do it.

It’s a little bit crazy to pretend we don’t.

One thing that increasingly unites men and women? We can both agree that Liberals are losing their ever-loving minds. Now there’s a shirt that says just that.

Conveniently available in Both Ladies…

AND Men’s versions.

Either Liberals just don’t get it, or they are sick in the head. Probably both. Think about it: They want to have all of the blessings that come with living in a capitalist society such as modern medicine and technology. But they believe in socialism, which stifles innovation and progress.

They want to be protected by the police and the military, but they attack and criticize the men and women who protect us. They call conservatives “racists,” but it’s their own identity politics that have created race problems in the first place. After all, Democrats were the party of slavery!

They attack hunters, but have no problem wearing leather shoes or owning cars with leather upholstery! And of course, they believe guns kill people. Not the people that pull the trigger.

Well, here’s a shirt that sums it perfectly. Liberalism is a… MENTAL DISORDER.

And the best part? This shirt is made in the USA, printed in the USA, on an American-Made t-shirt press!

Ladies, get yours here.

Bros, click here, instead.

Does your grandpa go off on paltry politicians, whether they be Democrats or Republicans? Does he get misty eyed when he talks about God and Country and America’s future? And have you ever heard him scream, ‘Awww … Hell no!’ when Rosie O’Donnell starts yapping on television? If you answered yes to one, or all of the above, then your gramps will love Doug Giles’ latest book, My Grandpa Is A Patriotic Badass.

Don’t be fooled by the title — this ain’t just for Grandpa.
The Snowflake Generation — and the rest of America — needs a good ol’ dose of ‘Grandpa wisdom’.
Especially if that Grandpa is Doug Giles.
You’ll love My Grandpa Is A Patriotic Badass just as much as Grandpa will.

Share with someone who is too uptight to fart.

Like Clash? Like Clash.

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