‘Professional Cuddling’ Is Spiking Because Millennials Can’t Handle Trump

This isn’t just one guy being stupid, either. It’s an international ‘movement’.

Who comes up with a candy-ass idea like this?

A professional cuddling service?

Group cuddle therapy?

But what makes the organized effort of being held, a service that comes with a cost (Cuddlist sessions go for $80 an hour), something that aids in relieving the fear and discomfort that has come with Trump’s presidency?

…Since the election, Cuddle Sanctuary has seen 252 new clients beginning as early as the day following the election. The usual Wednesday night cuddle workshop following the decision was dubbed “Election Detox.” Five of the 21 attendees were new. – RollingStone

They aren’t kidding. This is a real thing. And they pay handsomely to do it.

“We will sleep better, have higher metabolic function, increase our immune response, and even decrease our impulse behavior – like drinking because the world is doomed.” – RollingStone

Oh, the world is “doomed”, is it?

“I think that there’s so much stress in people’s lives these days, and especially in today’s political climate,” he says. “What a cuddling service can offer is that opportunity to lower those stress levels, to relax, and [to] go back to the basics and seek out some human touch.”

At times, the cuddle party Wyatt leads in Venice turns silent. Along one wall, participants sit stacked snugly in between another person’s legs, one person using another’s body as a support pillow; in the middle of the room is a spooning train; others sit side-by-side coloring. Just as touch is optional, so is speaking. – RollingStone

‘The work is actually political now’ said one.

So which is it?

Are the folks on the left Fierce, independent people leading a resistance?

Or are they timid, lonely little kittens — terrified and desperately in need of a hug?

And in case the Left is wondering? That sound they hear is us laughing at them.

If anything in this ‘cuddle therapy’ psychobabble made even a LITTLE sense to you, you need to act fast. Grab yourself a copy of Fight Club and see how ridiculous you look. When the movie is over, read this:

Effeminization Of The American Male

by Doug Giles

Doug Giles, best-selling author of Raising Righteous And Rowdy Girls and Editor-In-Chief of the mega-blog,, has just penned a book he guarantees will kick hipster males into the rarefied air of masculinity. That is, if the man-child will put down his frappuccino; shut the hell up and listen and obey everything he instructs them to do in his timely and tornadic tome. Buy Now:The Effeminization Of The American Male

Wear this to the gym and I guarantee you’ll get some comments.

Buy it now!

Oh, yes, Ladies, you can wear this shirt. Get yours here.

This is definitely one of the most politically incorrect t-shirts to ever hit the market. It will most certainly offend the entitled whiners!
Keep Calm and Don’t Be a Pussy!
And the best part? This shirt is made in the USA, printed in the USA, on an American-Made t-shirt press!

Like Clash? Like Clash.

Leave a Comment

We have no tolerance for comments containing violence, racism, vulgarity, profanity, all caps, or discourteous behavior. Thank you for partnering with us to maintain a courteous and useful public environment where we can engage in reasonable discourse.