Madonna Has Finally Left The U.S.A. – Thank You President Trump!

Let it never be said that we only report the bad news.

Guess who won’t have to worry so much about Secret Service visits, or ‘blowing up the White House’?

You guessed it. The Material Girl is packing her bags and heading for Europe.

But not the UK. She already left there. For a really petty reason:

Madonna left Britain to return to America because she was tired of being called ‘Madge’, she has told the US chat show host David Letterman.
The singer said that the nickname – often used by her British ex-husband, Guy Ritchie, the film director – made her feel “boring and middle-aged”. — Telegraph

This time, she’s headed for Lisbon, Spain. Isn’t that where Amy Schumer promised to go if Trump won? And Chelsea Handler.

(Maybe Madge can take some of those OTHER people who promised to leave with her when she goes.)

“I used to be a basket case but now I Live in Lisbon!”

No, Madge. It would take more than a change of address. It would take a personality transplant.

As for why she left America?

It might have been political.

Then again, it might have been this:

A study from a professor at the University of Southern California showed that Millennials are “highly distrustful” of Madonna, who is “17-times less influential than Taylor Swift and 15-times less influential than Adele.”

The singer’s continued efforts to remain sexually appealing were described as “desperate” and “inauthentic.” In addition, three in five said her image was “embarrassing.”–IJR

After all, Madge left the UK because she didn’t like feeling ‘middle-aged’.

A spokesman for Madonna explained that the star has felt a strong connection to Portugal since 2004, when she ended a tour there. She will now be working on a new film and music in the country. —IJR

Eventually, she’ll run out of countries that don’t stoke her ego.

What then?

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