A recent study has been conducted and what it has to say about ‘bromances’ is deeply disturbing.
Guys want to hang out with guys, that’s no surprise, but when you dig a little deeper, the Weird-O-Meter starts going off.
This isn’t just hanging with the boys watching the game and having a beer and that kind of normal stuff.
Close heterosexual male friendships are certainly not a new thing, but researchers have found that things have, um, changed somewhat in the way these relationships are being played out.
A U.K. study of 30 straight, undergraduate men recruited from the ‘sports department’, was conducted by the University of Winchester research team led by Adam White, and it has revealed that men are more comfortable being emotional and resolving conflicts in close male friendships than with a girlfriend. It was virtually unanimous that men found it easier to open up and express their feelings to their male friends than the women they were dating, and that ‘On balance… bromantic relationships were more satisfying in their emotional intimacy, compared to their heterosexual romances.‘
‘The increasingly intimate, emotive and trusting nature of bromances offers young men a new social space for emotional disclosure,‘ says one researcher.
The men complained that when they were in a relationship with a woman, ‘they could not talk fully about their interests, anxieties, health, and sexual desires because one was constantly posturing and self-monitoring and playing the part of the adoring boyfriend,’ so that they could ‘achieve the desired outcome’ — sex with their girlfriend. The ‘bromances’ on the other hand, are free of that pressure and any sort of judgment.
The men said that they were hesitant to open up to their girlfriends because women held grudges longer than men and were unpredictable in their emotional responses.
One man, (and the term is apparently being used loosely here,) has said that he’s afraid to admit to his girlfriend that he likes the music of Taylor Swift and Beyoncé because he might be ‘judged’. He knows, however, that his bros will understand.
Of the 30 men surveyed, 29 have said that they’ve slept in the same bed with their ‘bro’ and even cuddled.
‘We hug when we meet, and we sleep in the same bed when we have sleepovers. Everyone knows it, and nobody is bothered by it because they do it as well.’
One man said, ‘It’s like having a girlfriend but then not a girlfriend.‘
Researchers are concerned that that the increased familiarity and comfort in these relationships could pose a real threat to male-female relationships.
They are also concerned that the men appeared to view women in a generally negative light, but were more understanding with regard to their male friends.
‘There are significant and worrying results here for women. These men perceived women to be the primary regulators of their behavior, and this caused disdain for them as a whole in some instances,‘ said Dr. Stefan Robinson, one researcher in the study.
Source: Pacific Standard
So, lemme get this straight…
These straight men are having sleepovers and cuddling with their guy friends?
Do they paint their nails, do each other’s hair, and gossip, too?
These men aren’t behaving like men, they’re acting like preteen girls. That does explain the music taste of at least one of them, amirite?
When they’re asked to behave like men — be a leader, don’t react overly emotionally to situations, grow the heck up — they don’t want to.
And they see women as the problem?
You know what the problem really is?
These dudes haven’t been taught to be real dudes.
These bros haven’t read this book:
by Doug Giles
Doug Giles, best-selling author of Raising Righteous And Rowdy Girls and Editor-In-Chief of the mega-blog, ClashDaily.com, has just penned a book he guarantees will kick hipster males into the rarefied air of masculinity. That is, if the man-child will put down his frappuccino; shut the hell up and listen and obey everything he instructs them to do in his timely and tornadic tome. Buy Now:The Effeminization Of The American Male