The account of an unnamed woman’s sexual encounter with comedian Aziz Ansari has revealed some real problems with the MeToo movement.
For years, many on the right have said that there are two sides to every story.
There is no excuse for rape, but there is also no excuse for unfounded accusations of sexual assault.
A few days ago, a woman took her story of a date with Ansari and tried to paint him as a sexual abuser.
It’s startling because Ansari claims that he’s one of those ‘male feminists’ — and he’s not saying it in a creepy way like Bill Clinton, Harvey Weinstein, or even Al Franken. He wore a ‘Time’s Up’ pin to the Golden Globes in solidarity with the #MeToo folks.
Ansari defends feminism:
There are some real problems with the story told by the woman using the pseudonym ‘Grace’.
Here are some excerpts from what some are calling ‘3000 words of Revenge Porn’.
‘Grace’, a 23-year old photographer, approached Ansari after she recognized him at a 2017 Emmy Awards afterparty. She was tipsy and confident and liked that he was famous. She was also there with a date, whom she ditched while chatting up Ansari.
She says Ansari brushed her off at first, but after he realized they both brought the same kind of camera to the event, an old model from the 80s, he was impressed.
They flirted a little — he took two pictures of her, she snapped some of him — and then she and her date went back to the dance floor. “It was like, one of those things where you’re aware of the other person all night,” she said. “We would catch eyes every now and then.”
She gave him her phone number and they texted back and forth for about a week before setting up a date on September 25.
She consulted friends excitedly about what was appropriate to wear for her date with Ansari.
But it didn’t go as she’d hoped.
The first problem was that he chose the wine. The bastard.
She met him at his Manhattan apartment and they drank wine.
“It was white,” she said. “I didn’t get to choose and I prefer red, but it was white wine.”
They then walked to an Oyster bar onboard a historic wooden schooner in the Hudson River.
‘Grace’ says that Ansari seemed like he was in a rush to get out of there, he paid the bill, and left with wine still in their glasses. (What’s the problem? She didn’t like white wine anyway.)
They went back to his place and she complimented his granite countertops in his kitchen. And that’s where it got awkward for ‘Grace’.
“He said something along the lines of, ‘How about you hop up and take a seat?’” Within moments, he was kissing her. “In a second, his hand was on my breast.” Then he was undressing her, then he undressed himself. She remembers feeling uncomfortable at how quickly things escalated.
When Ansari told her he was going to grab a condom within minutes of their first kiss, Grace voiced her hesitation explicitly. “I said something like, ‘Whoa, let’s relax for a sec, let’s chill.’” She says he then resumed kissing her, briefly performed oral sex on her, and asked her to do the same thing to him. She did, but not for long. “It was really quick. Everything was pretty much touched and done within ten minutes of hooking up, except for actual sex.”
It gets worse, but you get the gist of it from that. It should be noted that she didn’t leave after that, there was more awkward groping, they kissed some more, — all this as they were both naked — and she continued to stay. She was uncomfortable that everything was happening so fast, but she continued on with it. At one point, she told him not to pressure her so that she ‘won’t hate him.’ Ansari even said to her, ‘Oh, of course, it’s only fun if we’re both having fun.’ But she said that while sitting with him on his couch (still naked) and then performed oral sex on him again. Eventually, they sat on his couch and watched Seinfeld — this time clothed.
And then he tried to unbutton her jeans while they made out… that was the last straw for ‘Grace’.
They got dressed, sat side by side on the couch they’d already “chilled” on, and he turned on an episode of Seinfeld. She’d never seen it before. She said that’s when the reality of what was going on sank in. “It really hit me that I was violated. I felt really emotional all at once when we sat down there. That that whole experience was actually horrible.”
While the TV played in the background, he kissed her again, stuck his fingers down her throat again, and moved to undo her pants. She turned away. She remembers “feeling in a different mindset at that point.”
“I remember saying, ‘You guys are all the same, you guys are all the fucking same.’” Ansari asked her what she meant. When she turned to answer, she says he met her with “gross, forceful kisses.”
That sounds pretty bad.
But it doesn’t sound like rape.
It sounds like a bad sexual experience mixed with a double-shot of regret.
It’s not exactly a #MeToo story.
Is this chick saying that awkward, bad, and regretted sexual encounters qualify for sexual assault?
Newsflash: Men aren’t able to read women’s minds, nor should they be expected to.
Maybe it’s feminism that has failed these women.
Feminists have claimed that women are exactly the same as men, with the same view of sex as men, and should be able to approach in sex the same way that men do.
That just puts women at risk.
And men at risk of sexual assault accusations.
Thanks, feminism, for screwing up so many people’s lives.
Maybe one day we could treat each other with dignity and respect and keep it in our pants until marriage.
Now, there’s an idea.
by Doug Giles
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